A Bit Broken

Continuing today’s impromptu security theme:

“SYSTEM INCLUDES CONTROL BOX WITCH DOES ALL THE MOVEMENT AND ZOOM FOCUS AND PRESETS ETC. 1 ORB 360 PAN AND TILT CAMERA WITH 16X OPTIACAL ZOOM WITH AUTO FOCUS”

However, the “Control Box Witch” must have died as:

“…SOLD AS SPARES OR REPAIR AS NOT LONGER SEEM TO MOVE STILL HAS PICTURE BUT NO MOVEMENT IN ANY DIRECTION”

Ideal if you match it with this; You can then setup an impressive-looking security system that will look the wrong way and omit to actually record anything it might see, thus completely failing to incriminate you when you (or an accomplice, I suppose) burgle yourself to claim on the insurance, whilst giving you the alibi of making it appear you were serious about security…

“THESE MACHINE’S ARE STUPID MONEY NEW”

And no doubt they’re stupid money second-hand and broken, as well.

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“this is sold as spares or repairs powers up but wont accept tape”

So, ideal if you don’t actually want to be able to record anything then?
If you’re thinking of burgling yourself and doing an insurance job, this could be just the alibi you’re looking for…

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“This does work but some of the keys don’t work…”

So, it’s a keyboard.
Which, you say, works.
But some of the keys don’t.
So really, it’s just a board then?

“…keys don’t work due to a drink being split on it.”

Y’know, just because the box it came in said “Blueberry” doesn’t mean you should add extra juice to it.
I dread to think the state it would be in if it was a Snow, Graphite or ‘Blue Dalmation’ model you’d had…
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“is working”? Really? Why’s it being sold as “spares or repair” then? (more…)

Not actually broken, but I just had to share it with you.

“WITH OPENING FOR A SPOON”

Like all good Welsh ladies.

“5.5. INCHES HIGH”

Not far off most Welsh ladies.

“IN GOOD CONDITION”

Unlike most Welsh ladies.

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Fed up with being laughed at by your WKD drinking ‘mates’ down the pub for only having Chocolat and The Princess Bride on VHS?
Then don’t miss this! Here’s the ideal chance to start a perfect “real man’s” film collection:
(more…)

“2 pictures size 38 cm x 38 cm”

Well, they seem ideal. I always find when it comes to home decorating, it’s always best to look at the wall and decide what size picture would look best there, rather than what the picture is of.

And maybe they didn’t upload any pictures as the one provided by eBay was already a perfect match?
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Or as a novelty doorstop.
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Now, I know what you’re thinking
Apart from “Another ashtray? This is the second one now, what are you, obsessed with Tobacciana or what?” you’re probably thinking “Aha! He thinks he can slip that one by us but that’s intentionally crumpled like that, that doesn’t count!”

To which I reply “A: anything that means I’m not having to trawl through page after page of broken TV’s or psp’s is fine by me”
and “B:”

“THIS ASH TRAY IS BROKEN AND GLUED BACK TOGETHER IT DOESNT SHOW MUCH AND IF ITS FOR A COLLECTION WOULD SUFFICE FOR DISPLAY OR IF YOU WANT TO USE I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE OK……..”

So, ner.

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Yet again, another item with a perfect working history until shortly before it was put on sale on eBay.

“However my 5 year old had an accident with a Wii remote and it hit the screen!”

Yet again, young children are blamed for breaking expensive (Orion? Well, expensive-ish) electrical equipment when they should’ve been left to play with inexpensive things like Lego or some building blocks.
How much have Nintendo been paid for stimulating the economy in this way, anyway?
And why has no-one yet created a fire-guard style protection device for fragile TV screens?

“There is now a broken picture with vertical colour lines and its no longer watchable.”

Don’t be silly! Didn’t you know stripes are the new black?
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