The advertising:
“the iPhone 4 is thin as a rake but the front and back are 30 times stronger than the usual plastic. Reason – aluminosilicate glass, the stuff that windshields of military choppers are made of.”
The reality:
“1x iphone 4 16 gig in nice cosmetic condition. this item was dropped in the sink in water removed within seconds but damage was done”
So, if you ever find you need to quickly disable a military chopper*, quickly dunk it in a bowl of water.
“i cannot check iemi, the sim holder is missing.”
Are the sim holders soluble then? Seems an odd design feature.
And as for the iPad;
“1X IPAD 2,16 GIG WI.FI 3G please study pictures of this item, it was dropped face down and front is a mess. touch is smashed.screen is smashed,”
So. It’s all smashed then?
“back is not damaged in anyway”
Oh, that’s ok then. Obviously they make the backs of ipads out of military chopper windshields, but not the fronts.
Cheapskates.
“power button is intact,when powered on item is on for approx 10 seconds then powers of,then on again and process is repeated.”
If it could display “Just let me die”, it would.
View Auction
*not a euphemism
“I am selling my Samsung HD 26″ TV for Spares or Repairs.”
Trying to sell, you mean.
Oh wait, 4 bids already.
Give me strength.
“The TV is damaged and wont work.”
Did they not read that bit? Or at least see the picture?
“The screen had a collision with an xbox controller during a moment of madness and is now in need of repair, damage can be seen via the photos.”
I suppose it was only a matter of time once Microsoft released Kinect to try and steal some of the wii’s thunder.
And now 4 other people are obviously having a moment of madness themselves.
“Everything else with the TV is fine,”
Everything apart from the screen.
You know, the main thing you use a TV for?
“this was in brilliant working condition.”
Note, in particular, the past tense used there.
“I have had the TV for over 4 years.”
That’s nice. Wonder how long the xbox was in the house?
“I know the TV has 2 x HDMI, 2 x Scart, Digital input/output and built in freeview. See photo of back of TV. “
Well, yes, that's definitely the back. Not sure how that helps matters though.
“I am not to sure on any other specifications or the model.”
I wouldn’t worry about; I think “Buggered screen” pretty much covers it regarding the important specifications.
“I dont hold the instruction manual either.”
Like you didn’t hold the Xbox controller?
“If you wish to pay via cash or paypal then either is fine.”
How about magic beans? It is Panto season after all.
View Auction
“I HAVE THIS TV WHICH I BOUGHT JUST OVER A YEAR AGO I STILL HAVE THE RECIEPT MANUALS AND EVERTHING FOR THE TV.”
Just over a year ago? Warranty’s run out already?
I’m sure you could still get it checked out, couldn’t you? There’s probably still the manufacturer’s warranty isn’t there?
“THE REASON FOR THIS SALE IS BECAUSE JUST THE OTHER DAY I HAD RED N GREEN LINES APPEARING ON THE SCREEN, AND CANNOT BE BOTHERD GETTING IT CHECKED OUT OR REPAIRED”
I have to say, that’s an impressive level of apathy, even by my standards.
And yet you can be bothered to do an ebay auction.
But can’t be bothered to spell ‘bothered’ correctly.
“MAY BE A SIMPLE FIX, YOU CAN TAKE A LOOK ON THE PICTURES TO SEE WHAT I MEAN.”
Have you tried percussive maintenance (i.e. giving it a thump)? That always used to work on old TV sets.
No, not on the screen, and certainly not with a wii controller.
Of course, that would most likely involve having to get up off your arse to try, so I can see why you might not bother.
“THIS TV COST ME ALOT OF MONEY AND STILL COSTS ALOT OF MONEY IF YOU TAKE A LOOK ON PRICERUNNER OR ANY OTHER WEBSITES.”
And yet you still can’t be bothered to even try getting it fixed.
You realise you’ll have to get up to post it if it sells? Oh wait, collection only.
Are you expecting people to come into your living room to disconnect it too?
“IT IS ONE OF THE TOP OF THE RANGE LCD TVS MADE BY SONY.”
Yeah, well, not like that it isn’t.
“CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO AND I WILL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS”
Any questions?
If the Earth is round, why are tables flat?
What colour is a mirror?
How do you pronounce the word ‘ghoti’?
“THE WINNER WILL HAVE TO PICK UP THE TELEVISION “
Or the binmen.
View Auction
Dishwaser? Try again.
“Fully Intergrated Dishwasher FAULTY!”
Better, but now you got “Integrated” wrong.
Oh well.
“Does a rinse cycle and starts beeping! Possible faulty heater! Ideal if u can repair yourself!”
Useless if you can’t.
“Otherwise it has never had any other problems!”
Right, so when it washed dishes (or wased them, maybe) it was fine.
Now it doesn’t, it isn’t.
View Auction
Spotted last night by Alice – Thanks Alice!
“extremely rare Victorian stuffed miniature dog”
Rare because people kept killing and stuffing them?
“this is one of the worlds smallest dogs and stands only 10 cm high”
It was originally a great dane but things just kept going wrong and they had to keep snipping bits off.
“it was stuffed in 1866 by C Perfect”
{Insert bestiality joke here}
“the original glass was cracked and has now been replaced”
There we go. Even if you don’t think it’s aesthetically broken, I’m covered on that front.
“the dog has never been out of its case”
Not even for walkies?
“fantastic condition”
Apart from it being dead, obviously.
“one of opportunity to own a fascinating example of an early breed”
One-off opportunity to pay almost two and a half grand for a dead dog in a box.
“and a real conversation piece”
IT TALKS!?!
View Auction
“IT HAS WORKED PERFECT FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS”
So, if you can travel back in time you should be able to get 5 years perfect use out of it before it packs up.
“BUT NOW SEAMS TO HAVE A FAULT”
Well, it wouldn’t be here otherwise, would it?
“THE TV SWITCHES ON BUT THE LIGHTS AT THE FRONT JUST KEEP FLASHING ON+OFF”
Suitable for discos and parties then?
“I HAVE BEEN TOLD IT IS THE PROJCTORY BULB COSTS ABOUT £69 “
What the hell is a projctory bulb?
“SO THATS WHY I AM SELLING AS SPARES/REPAIR”
Rather than buying one of these mysterious ‘projctory bulbs’ and getting it fixed?
If you wouldn’t recommend doing that yourself, why would you think anyoine else should try it?
“I DO HAVE THE STAND FOR THIS TV SELLING IN MY OTHER ITEMS”
Other items which include:
Must’ve been a hell of a wedding.
View Auction
“50″ Phillips plasma tv was fully working until decorators knocked it over and broke the screen.”
Decorators. That’s a new one.
Worked until broke, less so.
Maybe they thought it looked better this way?
“Relisted due to non paying bidder – Please only bid if you actually want the t.v. The last person didnt make any contact what so ever.”
A perfect example of buyer’s remorse in action.
View Auction
“Good working condition.”
Oh, that’s odd. Makes a change though, I suppose.
“Around 5-6 years old (original cost £2200)”
And now up for sale with a Buy It Now price of £250.
Why would you want to do that if it’s in good working condition?
“Issues.”
Should have known.
“The Ariel socket got damaged in transit so that isn’t functional. (Scart/HDMI/Component/VGA Only) again – NO ariel.”
Hence the almost two grand drop in price.
Aerial sockets are obviously very expensive components.
“Its for sale as I’m literally one foot away from TV (since moving home)”
What an odd reason to sell. Have you considered maybe stepping further away from it, if that’s a problem?
Or do you just sell anything that’s within arms’ reach?
“You can see dancing pixels…”
I’ll admit, I’ve not been following Strictly Come Dancing.
Is Brucie computer generated now?
“but I think that is because I’m so close..”
Or you’ve been sniffing glue?
“when I was in Wales…10 feet away watching sky hd, picture was stunning.”
Do I need to create a new category?
“Worked fine in Wales”
View Auction
“This is a Samsung LCD TV with a defective screen. I’ve had it for about 3 years.”
And you’ve not thought of replacing it/getting it fixed in all that time?
“The sound works but the picture is faulty like in the picture.”
Sorry, which picture is faulty? The picture (pictured), or the picture of the picture?
“I suppose someone might want to use it for parts or something so I’m putting it up here.”
“Or something”.
That just about encompasses anything doesn’t it?
From someone unhinged enough to want a screen ominously displaying an almost otherworldly blue glow so they can talk to God/aliens/their late Aunty Doreen (or the alien god “Lateantidoreen”, I suppose), to people confused by the idea of blue movies and pretty much any simpleton and lunatic in between, really.
Wonder where the two current bidders fit in that scale?
View Auction
“Wasp Metal Detector For spares or repair”
Does it make a buzzing sound whenever picnics are nearby?
“Was working well but just stopped, probably a minor fault, but no idea really.”
Ah, no buzzing sounds whatsoever then.
Ideal if you want to wander around, undisturbed, on coastlines and fields, but can’t be bothered with all that tedious digging malarkey, then.
“When working was simple to use, just two controls, Fine and Coarse tuning”
Is now even simpler to use, no tuning required.
“CANT FIND WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR?
OR JUST NEED SOME TECHNICAL ADVICE ON PURCHASING?”
Here’s some advice if you can’t find what you’re looking for – Either you’re Bono or you should buy a working detector instead.
View Auction
GigerPunk • 
10:45 am • 
Recent Comments